


Lollygagging

by sunkissecl



Series: My Collection of Short Kleinsen Fics [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Fluff, I don't like the bathbombs meme so here's a headcanon that makes sense, Jared sucks at stat and so do I, M/M, Swearing because they're teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 03:38:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14844972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkissecl/pseuds/sunkissecl
Summary: “You’re--you’re not a dum dum,” Evan answers, showing him the previously opened cotton candy-flavored Dum Dum (which he wrapped carefully so it didn’t get dirty). “This is.”





	Lollygagging

**Author's Note:**

> already posted this on amino a few days ago so i lost all my trains of thought uuuh

The bathroom door swings open, and Jared is surprised by the sudden sound. He snaps back into reality and notices the terrible taste in his mouth. He spits it out and tries to rinse the rest of it away, and simultaneously realizes that he apparently grabbed the nearest bath bomb and started nibbling on it.  _ Again _ . He gags and mentally face palms himself. Is there anything more pathetic than Jared sitting in the bathtub eating a bathbomb? He couldn’t think of anything else. Oh, and of course, Evan is here to witness all of it. He sinks.

 

“Jared. Were you eating that?” Evan asks, concerned, eyeing the bath bomb that Jared had flung to the farthest corner. Or, well, he tried to, but he didn’t have the best throwing arm.

 

“No.” Jared tries to answer while still washing his mouth, and he momentarily chokes on the water before closing the tap and furiously drying his face with a towel within arm’s reach.

 

“Can I sit down?” Evan asks, and when Jared nods, he climbs into the bathtub and sits next to Jared as the latter scrubs his tongue in a last vain attempt to get rid of the soapy taste. Evan takes a deep breath. “Okay, so your mom called me and we obviously have to talk about your problem with statistics, but right now we have to talk about your bath bomb eating habit.”

 

“I don’t eat bath bombs!” Jared said, rather defensively and louder than he meant to. He looks at Evan apologetically and apologizes.

 

“So, what were you doing just earlier?”

 

“I was just chilling in our bathtub because I got bored of the couch and my hand unconsciously wandered onto a bath bomb nearby and I….may have, perhaps, taken a bite of it or two.” His voice fades, and he’s just mumbling the words out by the end. He tries to grin and shrug.

 

“Jared, okay. We need to get rid of that. First,  _ please _ don’t hang out in the bathroom any more when you know you’re going to get dissociative.”

 

Jared nods solemnly. It’s no time for jokes.

 

“Next, I--I have a better replacement for bath bombs if you ever really need to nibble on something.” Evan says, fumbling around in his drawstring bag before pulling out a pack of Dum Dums.

 

Jared’s eyes immediately light up. “What is this, Hansen?” He asks cautiously, trying to hide his excitement.

 

“It’s lollipops. I thought m-maybe you can keep them in your pocket so you’d have something  _ edible _ to nibble on when you need it. Or maybe you can just pop it into your mouth. Whichever works.”

 

Evan’s going to hand over the pack to Jared, and Jared’s about to receive it with eager hands, but the former suddenly remembers something and withdraws it. “Wait, there’s still your statistics problem.”

 

Jared’s face drops. Oh. The reason he’s been in the bathtub for the past hour. Right.

 

“Your mom called me and said you--you needed me to help you study for the test?”

 

He folds his arms and pouts. “I can do it just fine on my own, Hansen.” Wrong. If he doesn’t pass the last test that’s going to happen in a few days, he’s probably going to have something to do during the summer for the first time ever.

 

“All right, then I guess no one’s going to eat all this candy I have. What a waste.” Evan says, putting the Dum Dums back into his succulent pattern-covered drawstring.

 

Jared pretends to reconsider. “Fine, Hansen. You win me over. But don’t think I’ll just do what you want because of your confectionary.” He stands up, holds out a hand for Evan and pulls him up, and they head out of the bathroom to somewhere a lot more fitting for studying.

  
  
  


One would expect Jared’s room to be a post-tornado attack site, but it’s surprisingly more organized than that. Evan can see a lot of posters littered on the walls and spies a Hamilton playbill on his desk amongst the video game character figurines and books and sci-fi-themed table decor (he feels envious). He also spots several photos on Jared’s desk, one of him with his mom and brothers, another with just Tim, and another with just... _ him _ . His heart skips a beat. He looks around and finds Jared’s clothes on a messy pile on the floor. At least it’s in one corner. He finds the trash can on another corner with trash scattered around it--Jared probably tried to shoot them into the can and failed miserably--and the can has “My Home™” written on it.

 

“Welcome to my humble abode!” Jared says, falling backwards into his bed, sending his slippers flying into the void. “Make yourself at home, Hansen.”

 

“This is...nice.” Evan answers, smiling. Jared’s room  _ is _ nice, despite its slight disarray.

 

“Why thanks.” Jared replies, sitting up and patting the space next to him.

 

Evan sinks down next to Jared. “This is comfy.”

 

“It’s very warm and inviting.” Jared agrees with a nod. Suddenly, he tackles Evan and pulls him into a hug, falling onto the bed. “Cuddle with me!”

 

“Jared--”

 

“ _ Evan _ , feel the soft cushions around you.” The shorter boy says, pulling his friend into a tighter hug.

 

“ _ Jared-- _ ”

 

“ _ Ev _ .” He whines. He’d  _ really _ rather just spoon with his friend--who is  _ very soft _ by the way--than study for anything. This totally  _ isn’t _ gay, by the way.

 

As much as Jared’s puppy eyes and the way he says “Ev” makes Evan want to succumb to him, Evan still shakes his head. “Jare, c-c’mon. You know you need to study. What about the Dum Dums?”

 

“Hhhngggh.” is the reply that came.

 

“Every time you answer a sample problem correctly, you get….a sour belt-- _ five  _ sour belts.”

 

Jared’s grip on Evan’s waist loosens. “...Fine. You win. The candy better be worth it.”

 

Evan smiles triumphantly, and they both get up. Jared stretches his arms and yawns. “So, do we work on my desk or something?”

 

“Yeah. If it’s not--if you can make it less crowded.” Evan replies, looking at the aforementioned desk. It’s really got a lot of stuff on it. And a framed photo of him and Jared.

 

“Okay, we just--” Jared says, standing up, and almost immediately tumbling back down as he wobbles. “Oops. Okay, you just do this--” he says again, walking over to his desk. He puts his hands on one end and just wipes the surface, making the notebooks and comics drop on the floor. He lets out a quiet “oh no” when he realizes his comics were victims, and quickly puts them on his unevenly stacked pile in a corner. “There. This bitch empty. Yeet.”

 

“Oh my god, Jared.”

 

Evan pulls over a chair. “Okay, where do we start?”

 

“From the beginning, Hansen.”

 

“Jare, there’s like, 4 chapters we have to go through.”

 

And so they start. Jared does his very best effort to pay attention and focus. Listening to Evan is the easy part--he could easily listen to that gorgeous voice all day. (Still not gay.) And stare at those beautiful blue eyes of his. ( _ Still not gay _ .) But comprehending what he’s saying is the difficult part.

 

“So, do we use combinatorial for binomial experiments every time?”

 

“Technically, yeah, but for the probability there’s a lot more to it than just the combinatorial.”

 

Jared tries his best to cram a bunch of formulas into his head, to remember what to do for specific scenarios in problems given, and every twenty minutes they’d take a five-minute cuddle break. ( _ Still. not. gay. _ ) After a while, it’s finally time for Jared to answer his first word problem.

 

Evan scans Jared’s scribbly notes. “Jare, congrats! You got this right!” He announces with joy, grinning at Jared.

 

“What.” Jared says in disbelief.

 

“You did it!! Which means you’ve earned this.” Evan says, opening a pack of sour belts. Jared opens his mouth and lets Evan drop the prize into it.

 

“Never has candy been so rewarding,” Jared says, faking a tear from his eye. He steals the other four pieces he’s earned.

 

After that, they’re back to studying, this time for the next lesson--continuous random variables. Now, Jared is struggling. God knows he’s doing his best to keep up, and Evan is doing his best to help Jared by adjusting his pace and giving multiple examples. But it eventually reaches a point where Jared is both frustrated and starting to get bored. He starts fiddling with his figurines and reenacting scenes with them, only half-paying attention to whatever Evan’s saying. Evan catches on, and decides that it’s time to use his next tactic.

 

“Uh, hey Jare,” he says.

 

Jared looks up from the Tony Stark and Peter Parker figurines in his hands. “Yeah, Ev?”

 

“I heard you like these.” Evan says, holding up a Dum Dum.

 

Jared’s face lights up again. “Holy shit, yes! Gimme--”

 

“Actually, uh, you can get them if we finish the first part of this chapter.” Evan cuts him off, giving him the most innocent smile he could muster. It probably didn’t take that much effort.

 

Jared frowns. “Okay.”

 

Evan leans forward and continues with what he was saying, with Jared now doing his best and staring intensely at the piece of paper Evan’s writing on. After a few minutes, the timer rings, signaling a break. Jared gets ready for a hug, but Evan grabs his drawstring and takes out one piece of Dum Dum.

 

“Already?” Jared asks excitedly.

 

Evan opens it, his palms sweating. He has no idea what he’s doing. Well, he does, but he doesn’t even know how he’s going to pull it off.  _ Why _ he’s even going to do it in the first place. ”Nope.”

 

“Aw, what? I’ve been scammed!”

 

Evan sticks out his tongue and throws the wrapper into his bag. Then, he leans forward and smears the lollipop all over Jared’s lips.

 

Jared stops. A thousand emotions run through through his face in the next five seconds--surely a world record--and it finally settles on shock. “ _ Ev what the fuck? _ ”

 

“I’m sorry I--I didn’t mean to freak you out or anything! I--I was just--I wanted to try and coerce you to study more by teasing you or something--I thought it was a good idea-- _ whydidIthinkitwasagoodideaI’msosorry _ \--”

 

“No, no, it’s...fine,” Jared says, trying to calm Evan down. He licks his lips. “Mm. Cotton candy.”

 

Evan gives him a look. “So...you’re fine with it?”

 

“I mean, that was the weirdest and most surprising shit ever, but I like it.”

 

He blushes. “Okay, so, we can go back to stat?”

 

Jared groans inwardly at the mention of the dreaded subject, but he feels lighter. He  _ does _ want the whole lollipop eventually. He’ll have to do better to get it.

 

About an hour and a half later, after countless, grueling word problems, Jared emerges victorious from the quagmire with a total number of 30 sour belts. The total number of sour belts in Jared’s hands, however, is obviously equal to zero.

 

“We finally finished the chapter, Jare!” Evan says happily.

 

Jared smiles at him and gives him an apologetic look. “Only took me ten years. Sorry. I’m just really a dum dum. I do  _ not _ understand any of this stat shit.”

 

“You’re--you’re not a dum dum,” Evan answers, showing him the previously opened cotton candy-flavored Dum Dum (which he wrapped carefully so it didn’t get dirty). “This is.”

 

“Hahaha. Very clever, Ev. But...thanks.” Jared says, giving him a genuine grin. “So, did I earn that or what?” He closes his eyes. “Don’t keep me waiting, Hansen.”

 

His lips are greeted by a sweet, sticky lollipop, followed by another pair of lips on his. He opens his eyes in surprise.

 

Evan is  _ kissing _ him. Technically, but there’s a Dum Dum between their lips. Still, it’s a kiss. Jared could feel himself burning up. He couldn’t say anything.

 

Evan kind of panics when Jared turns quiet and doesn’t move a muscle, so he immediately pulls away, dropping the Dum Dum onto the floor.

 

“Oh my god, Jared, I’m so sorry I--I didn’t mean--it just kind of happened--I swear I didn’t--”

 

“Ev. Chill.” Jared says, grabbing Ev by the shoulders gently. “That was a nice lollipop.”

 

“So you don’t...hate me?”

 

“Well, you let the cotton candy one hit the floor so, maybe I do. But definitely not because of that kiss.” Jared says with a wink. He picks the lollipop on the ground and contemplates popping it into his mouth.

 

“Jared, don’t do it. I--I have a lot more in my bag.”

 

Jared throws it away and gives Evan a grin. “Do you have a lot more of those kisses?”

 

Evan’s face heats up. “Yeah. But--But maybe when we finish this chapter. We have two more to go.”

 

They hear a knock on the door. “Jared?” A voice says through the wall. “Come downstairs, dinner is ready! And bring Evan down with you.”

 

“No thanks mom, I’m full!”

 

“No you’re not, you only ate sour belts!”

  
  


Evan and Jared are spooning on Jared’s bed, with Jared lazily playing with Evan’s hair. “Why’s your hair so floofy and pointy?” He asks, flattening it like a pancake and letting it swoosh back up again. He chuckles.

 

“It’s natural, I guess.”

 

They stay like that in silence for a while, with Evan stroking Jared’s back, and Jared running his fingers through Evan’s hair.

 

“Hey Jare.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you remember anything I taught you today?”

 

“I like Dum Dums and your mouth on mine.”

 

“N-No, I mean-- _ jeez _ .”

 

“Okay, okay, just kidding. Uh, yeah, I remember all that stuff from the combinatorials to the conclusion for the hypothesis testing part.”

 

“Okay, good.”

 

“Thank you, Ev.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

“Are we boyfriends now?”

 

“Uhhh I don’t know...do you want to be?”

 

Jared buries his head in Evan’s chest. “Mmm, if it means I get to snuggle with you like this forever, then yes.”

 

“I love snuggling with you too…”

 

“Then it’s a deal. No refunds.”

 

“I didn’t pay you anything.”

 

“You gave me two packs of Dum Dums and sour belts. You’re not getting those back.”

 

“I don’t want to.” Evan says, smiling. He feels like the happiest person on earth right now. “I just want  _ you _ .”

 

“...wow thanks. I want you too, Ev.”

“I love you, Kleinman.”

 

“Love me too, very much.”

 

“Jare!”

 

“Joke. Love you too, Hansen.”

 

* * *

**Bonus**

“Babe, I got a trigo test coming up,” Jared says to Evan. The two are currently walking through the hallway with their friend Alana Beck on the way to their separate classes. “You got any more of those?” He grins, pertaining to the Dum Dum in Evan’s mouth.

 

“Don’t you have some in your bag?” Evan answers, removing the lollipop, allowing Jared to steal it from his hand and pop it into his mouth.

 

“Thanks, tree boy.”

 

“ _ I was eating that! _ ”

 

Alana gives Jared a look of disgust. “Jared, we need to talk about your eating habits.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading all of that and jaredstopyou'refuckinggross
> 
> i do requests ~~and commissions~~ so feel free to send me prompts/suggestions and i'll see what i can do 
> 
> i'd also love to get some feedback ovo


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